Today, my mom reminded me that it’s been thirteen years since I started my blog on Angelfire. I was ten then and I am twenty-three now, and while blog may have changed URLs and platforms over the years, I never really stopped putting my life on the Internet for all sorts of normal and creepy people to read. The fact that I started my blog when most people didn’t know what the Internet is and kept my blog for this long makes me the “first Filipino blogger”. Flattering as that might be, I’m going to be honest here – I still don’t see why people make such a big deal out of it. I feel awkward whenever people introduce me as such because the title carries so much weight and makes me seem more important than I really am. The truth is that I haven’t done a single thing to shape blogging into the way it is today. I never encouraged other people to start their own blogs, nor did I help foster the sense of community now present in the local blogosphere. In fact, I resisted my mom’s early attempts to introduce me to local bloggers when Abe and Jayvee started organizing meet-ups in 2007, not to mention I viewed the increasing use of blogs as an advertising platform with the disdain and disappointment of my youthful idealism. This blog isn’t even particularly relevant – just the collected apolitical ramblings and interests of a Filipino girl in the age of the Internet. You know those teenage girls on Tumblr who post all these pretty but useless nothings? That was me, thirteen years ago, and still me to some extent.
I was an ugly child at 10
Part of the reason why I very rarely ever write in here anymore is that too many people know who I am and know where to find this blog. As I mentioned earlier, I started keeping a personal blog when hardly anyone in the Philippines knew what the Internet was. My blog used to be my haven from our conservative, family-oriented society during the height of my teenage angst. Thirteen years later, everyone and their mother is on the Internet, which means I can’t be as open about who I am anymore. While I still don’t give a shit about what people think of me, I do care about what people think of my mom, and I don’t want her critics to use my unusual interests as ammunition against her.
I suppose that’s the most important lesson I learned after keeping a blog for so long: don’t get too personal. Keeping an impersonal personal blog seems to defeat the purpose of personal blogging, but unless you can manage to keep yourself truly anonymous, be your own censor. If you’re a fiery person with not so “normal” interests, keep your blog PG, because there are people out there who will use your blog to hurt you or someone you love.
So yeah, I learned a bunch of other things too!
