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A few days ago, I borrowed a Filipino graphic novel called Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah by Carl Vergara. It’s basically your garden-variety superhero comic book about battling garden-variety alien invaders–except that our “superhero”, Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah, is really a parlor gay who becomes a transsexual upon swallowing a magic stone (like Darna, the most famous female Filipino comic book superhero). Since I have done quite a bit of research on Filipino gay culture for a group paper on homosexuality for a Theology class, I was able to read Zsa Zsa with some background on local gay culture. And I will make my comments on the graphic novel with this knowledge in mind. (Let me make a disclaimer though, that all I know of Filipino gay culture is based on observation and information from a book called Philippine Gay Culture: The Last 30 Years by Neil Garcia (from UP Press).)

Homosexuals in the Philippines are referred to as bakla or bading. The bakla is basically your loud, effeminate, parlor gays (think the gay guys from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy except noiser) or transsexuals. In Filipno culture, bakla and homosexuality necessarily connote each other. During the sixties, which was the birth of Filipino gay culture, it was popularly believed that a bakla is a male whose sexually desires another male, but by virtue of this choice, loses his masculinity and begins to turn female. But this transformation to another gender is never fully accomplished because what the bakla can only do is become a “fake woman”.

With time, Filipino gays gained a favorable reputation through the field of arts and entertainment–theater, fashion design, show business. But alhtough it seemed that the although it seemed that bakla were celebrated and welcomed by the predominantly heterosexual Filipino society, people came to the impression that bakla will always remain aberrations because they cannot partake in the experience of bearing children. Since they are handicapped in this sense, the bakla has less chance for happiness than others.

In other words, homosexuality in the Philippines boils down to a reversal of gender roles. They dress up as females or act effeminately and have creative jobs like interior design–jobs that are usually designated to women. It is also the average bakla’s dream to be loved, accepted, and enter into a relationship with “real man”. Like women, baklas treat each other like sisters and thus, do not date each other because this would be something like incest. Ironically, Filipino gays, while marginalized by the heterosexuals, practice a form of discrimmination of their own. Silahis is a Tagalog word that roughly translates to “bisexual”. But for the bakla, who assert a feminine identity, a silahis is a male who looks and acts like a “real man” but who, deep inside, wishes to become effeminate. Because the silahis is not effeminate, he is misconstrued by the gay culture as behaving in a masculine manner to avoid the stigma on effeminate identity. It was also the opinion of the gays that the silahis were merely fence-sitters waiting out the war against homophobia. Thus, the silahis were considered to be traitors to their cause.

So what does all this have to do with Zsa Zsa? In the graphic novel, Ada–the bakla who eventually becomes Zsa Zsa–is in love with a guy named Dodong, and the story ends with Dodong falling in love with him. If what I just said about Filipino homosexuality is still holds true today (and I actually wouldn’t know since I don’t have any gay friends), then I just don’t see this happening. Look at it this way. Baklas want to be in a relationship with a “real man” but the fact of the matter is, heterosexual guys would do anything to avoid being seen in the company of a bakla, usually because they find the gender role reversal disgusting and unnatural, and because they fear that other people might think they are bakla as well. And if the bakla think that the silahis (the manly gay man) is some sort of a traitor to kabaklaan, then I think they’ve reached a dead end. But again, let me clarify that my conclusion is not fact; just the result of a little research and personal observation.

As for what I think about the whole gender role reversal of Filipino gays, I admit that sometimes I find it disturbing and slightly annoying. I don’t understand why they feel that they are “women trapped in men’s bodies”. I find it annoying how they tend to screech too loudly, and scary how they can be bitchier than the bitchiest women. And yes, it’s gross how some gays act like the most goddamn arrogant queens but just don’t have the looks to pull it off. I realize that this isn’t a very fair evaluation of them and but the reason why I feel this way towards them is because I don’t have any gay friends. Not because I don’t want to, but simply because I’ve never had the opportunity to know any Filipino gay people. I’ve been told that they have a great sense of humor and are as loyal a friend as another woman but since I don’t know any gays I haven’t seen this side of them yet. Perhaps someday I will. But if the bakla can be as trecherous as the average woman (see this entry), then perhaps I can’t have a lasting friendship with one.

(This is probably asking for it, but I’m leaving the comments open.)

Of all the dumbest fads to hit the fashion world, Havaianas have to be somewhere at the top of the list. And in spite of the fact that I’d think you were a moron for buying one (especially if you’re from the Philippines), I can’t help wishing I’d thought of the concept first. Just get some ordinary thing nobody has ever looked at, have some Hollywood celebrity endorse it and–BAM. I’d be rich. Money for nothing.

For those of you who have been living in a cave for the past year, that’s a Havaianas sandal in the picture. Cute and beachy-looking as they are, a pair costs around $17 a pop (around 935 pesos). And it’s the price that makes me find the whole fad so dumb because Havaianas, no matter how you look at it, are basically the Filipino rubber tsinelas glorified.

What is this tsinelas, you ask? Well, they’re an indispensable part of Filipino culture. They’re basically Havaianas–rubber thong sandals (or slippers, as they’re called here)–except without the hisbiscus flowers and the exhorbitant price. Everyone who’s a Filipino has to have worn them at least once (before the Havaianas craze). When I was a kid wreaking havoc on the streets on my bike, I did it in my tsinelas. And so did my other childhood playmates. Nobody wore sneakers or anything; we just ran around and played our games in tsinelas. What’s incredibly interesting about this whole slipper fad is that two years ago, if you decided to wear tsinelas to a school like Ateneo, people would look down on you or think you were poor or something. Tsinelas are so cheap, even palengkeras and (most) street beggars can afford to wear them. Hell, before the tricycle ban in Katipunan, my school imposed a dress code on the tricycle drivers that could go in Ateneo, and one of the no-nos was–you guessed it–wearing of slippers. (So much for being “men and women for others”) Now everyone’s all “look at me, I’m so cool in my 900-peso flip-flops.”

It’s human stupidity at work. But like I said, I wish I had thought of the concept of making the tsinelas fashionable first. The Havaianas website says that the company has some sort of secret recipe for the rubber but there has to be some sort of Filipino equivalent to that which existed way before this silly fad. I mean, I’ve been wearing the same pair of non-Havaianas tsinelas for four years. Not only have I been wearing them; every now and then I use my poor slippers to whack the occassional ipis (cockroach) that crosses my path. And they’re still very functional.

Maybe it’s just me, but I would never wear tsinelas to school even if somebody gave me Havaianas for free. In the first place, my feet look incredibly disgusting, thanks to my stupid cat’s flea bites. Secondly, I’ve grown to associate my slippers as an informal, household item because I always wear them in the house. To wear tsinelas to school would just destroy the whole cosmic order of things. I don’t really dress up for school–I usually just go in jeans and a non-descript top–but wearing slippers to school is just not right. For me, anyway. Oh, I’m sure 900-peso tsinelas ought to feel comfortable, but there’s always Birkinstocks for that (yes, they’re four times as expensive, but arc support is perfect for my flat feet).

So, I bet a lot of you girls are pissed at me right now for saying that Havaianas are stupid. But before you start bitching at me for being such a bitch about Havaianas, answer me this question first: would you have worn tsinelas (or “flip-flops”, if you may) to school or the mall if it weren’t made fashionable by this ingenious Brazilian manufacturer?