Blame It On the Birth Control Pills
Posted by Lauren | Under Personal Neuroticisms, Womanhood with 7,430 views Wednesday May 28, 2008Which would you rather be:
a) pretty but constantly depressed (and I’m not talking about the “I’m sad” kind of depression. I mean the sort where you spend hours either crying your eyes out for absolutely no reason at all, or staring into space because you honestly don’t care whether you live or die the next minute) and picking stupid fights with your boyfriend just because you can?
or
b) not-so-pretty, but at least you’re capable of being as happy as a mentally unstable 22 year old can get?
Believe me, this is not an easy question to answer.
I’ve been taking this birth control pill Yasmin for some time now, not so much for the “I’m too young to get knocked up” reasons as the “my skin has been ugly ever since I hit puberty and I’ve done everything to make my skin stop breaking out and for just once in my life I’d like to be pretty” reasons. My mom wasn’t too thrilled about my decision to get on the pill due to our family’s history of breast cancer. She was convinced that the estrogen in the pill would transform my breasts into little tumor farms. To appease her I had my gynecologist run some (rather expensive) tests on me and when everything checked out okay, I made my way to the drug store with my prescription of Yasmin.
Little did my mom or I realize that breast cancer is the least of the more serious side effects to get worried about.
Over the next couple of weeks, not only did my skin do a wonderful job of clearing up – I debunked the myth that the pill fattens you up like crazy. The other positive side effect I got from the pill is that it took my appetite to a place far far away and made me almost skinny like a model. For about two weeks I couldn’t bring myself to eat more than a couple of mouthfuls during every meal, no matter how delicious the food in front of me was. It even came to a point where the only reason why I bothered eating was to make the grumbling noises in my tummy stop. Every time I went out my friends, the first thing they’d tell me was that I looked prettier and skinnier than the last time they saw me. That made me feel damn good – but not good enough to make up for the huge waves of depression that kept hitting me once I started taking the pill.
It started out as me being ten times more cranky and sensitive than I usually am. Random little things that wouldn’t normally have bothered me, like getting lost in a strange city, became disasters of epic proportions – and I would deal with it all like some helpless heroine. (If you had gone with us to Cebu and Bohol, I bet you would have insisted on leaving me on the roadside. I would have done that, if I were another person.) When Ale left the Philippines I cried for hours everyday, but I wasn’t too worried since that was obviously normal reaction. However, the depression didn’t go away once we settled back into our familiar, comfy, long-distance routine. In fact, it got even worse. One minute I’d be okay and the next, I’d either be crying for no reason or picking a fight with Ale for some ridiculous reason or another. Like he’d make some offhand comment that wouldn’t have bothered me on a normal day, but because it’s been a while since I had a normal day I’d end up blowing things completely out of proportion. Really, with the way I’ve been acting up the past few weeks, I’m surprised I’m not single yet.
I can’t decide which is the worst part though – the moments where I’d be staring off into space feeling numb and empty because I pretty much lost the will to do anything (except stay in bed and watch Dexter or Grey’s Anatomy for hours), or the unexplained crying fits like the one I had last night. What frightened me about that episode is that it wasn’t just any kind of crying. It’s the way women cry when they’ve just been dumped or when someone they love has died, except I haven’t been dumped and no one I know died recently. For over an hour, my bed was practically shaking because I was sobbing so hard. I tried to calm myself down and figure out why I was freaking out so badly, but that made me cry even harder because I couldn’t come up with one good reason for that heavy, profound sadness. I wish I could attribute the mood drop to yesterday being my brother’s death anniversary, but that wasn’t even it. I had a similar crying fit just a few days ago, and it was just as unexpected and unexplainable as last night’s.
Getting depressed or crying for no reason is nothing new to me, but it’s never happened this frequently nor this intensely. I did some poking around the internet and discovered that the progestin component in Yasmin (or any other combination birth control pill) wreaks havoc on your serotonin levels by increasing a brain enzyme that inhibits the production serotonin. Serotonin is that neurotransmitter in your brain that affects your mood. If you have too little, you’re probably depressive and not much fun like I am. If you have too much, you’re probably one of those irritatingly chipper people who deserve a bullet in between their eyes. So I guess when you already have too little serotonin to begin with, and you take a pill that kind of kills what little serotonin you already have – it’s amazing I haven’t tried to kill myself yet.
Despite the wonderful things the pill has done to my physical appearance, I stopped taking Yasmin last Sunday. Being prettier and skinnier doesn’t mean anything when I can no longer appreciate the simple fact that I’m alive. Hell, these days it takes a Herculean amount of effort go out and show the world that I’ve gotten prettier and skinnier. I’m a little worried that my mood hasn’t improved yet, but I guess I’ll see how I’m like over the next couple of days.
So have any of you ever tried taking the pill or know someone who did, and had a reaction as bad as mine? How did you or that person deal with it? And do you think I should stop taking the pill, or take it with a combination of serotonin supplements? Really, I should be asking my gyno all these questions instead of consulting random Internet doctors. Unfortunately, her waiting room is always filled with pregnant women, screaming babies, and (for some reason) nuns, and I don’t really feel like surrounding myself with a lot of estrogen right now.
Hehe, Yasmin is a pretty strong dosage pill=P I read somewhere that it could potentially have worse effects (worse than the depression). (My friend loves it though cuz she slimmed down and her boobs got big.) Diane 35 and Yasmin yung mga malalakas masyado and I read before that women should just take it for 3-6 months if you just want it to improve your skin. I was researching abt pills for a while cuz I couldn’t go to a gyne here in the US. Alam mo ba here…as in strict sila with birth control pills…the doctor checks you pa after you take it…kasi nga marami strong dose masyado. Many have side effects like depression and lowered libido (read up on it sa internet palang…ang daming complaints from women who experience strong side effects). My gyne before in the PI prescribed Mercilon to me (it’s for a valid reason…I have high testosterone!=P) and I didn’t experience any side effects. Kaso when I got off the pill cuz I ran out na here sa US…hala! bigla akong nagka pimples! as in! ask ade, ang panget ko na! So now I got some pills from the Planned Parenthood clinic here (iknowrite) where they give it for free….it’s a low dose one din called Microgestin…I just started on it…i’ll tell you pag nagclear skin ko…so far no depression or emotional side effects…masakit lang boobs ko=P hehe=) so try checking sa internet and also, ask your gyne if may mapreprescribe siyang lower dose na effective rin for your skin=)
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P.S. I’m not sure it’s quite accurate to attribute “beauty and being skinny” to the pill. Even pills like Yasmin don’t guarantee clearer skin for acne sufferers, and they are not recommended as easily by dermatologists as you perceive.
For the record, birth control pills are known more to cause weight gain and NOT weight loss.
Weight loss is NOT a proven side effect of the pill — I think it’s simply urban legend and “skinni-ness” simply coincided with taking the pill.
For the most part, although many Pinays still deny this, the pill is simply a very good means of contraception for women like me who would like to enjoy a monogamous relationship but are not ready for children.
Many Pinays just make an excuse such as, “Oh I take it for clearer skin etc” because they don’t want to bear the stigma of being a non-virgin in our still mostly sexually biased and repressed society.
My first comment wasn’t posted, I believe.
Anyway, in my experience, the bad side effects of the pill went away for me after about two years. I believe it does go away and maybe looking for a pill that would better suit you will also help. Minulet is a lower dose birth control pill, which my friend uses.
But personally, I don’t think the pill should be taken for better skin. Most dermatologists I know don’t even recommend it. It was meant for contraception purposes and I believe it should be used mainly for that alone, and the “side effects” good or bad, are simply incidental.
@Sorsi – My gyno told me that I can only take Yasmin for 6 months and to return for regular check-ups, but that was more to see if the pill is affecting my blood sugar levels or making lumps grow on my breasts. I had no idea that Yasmin is a strong pill – I mean, it’s only 3 mg. o_o And while I did know that depression and mood swings would be a side effect of Yasmin, I didnt know it’d affect me this strongly. Bah. Let me know how you’re doing with the other pill. :)
@admiralpye – All that stuff about making excuses to take the pill and sexual repression and shit – clearly you don’t know me very well. :P I know I’m probably setting the feminist movement back 20 years for correlating beauty and being skinny but meh, sometimes that’s how I see it. The pill did really work for my skin though, and I’ve never experienced appetite loss like that before. Maybe most women break out and get fat on the pill but hey, our bodies have different chemical structures. It’s not supposed to affect every woman the same way.
This is so strange, I just got switched to Yasmin and my normally-contrary moods have been better than ever before. In fact I was just thinking this morning that it’s been a while since I felt like killing a loved one, and that I was getting better at telling my boyfriend when I might be about to get mad and to chill out on the annoyingness.
But then you shouldn’t take my experience as proof of anything because I have very contrary experiences with the Pill. Microgynon, a first-gen high-dosage pill I was prescribed by my university health services, gave me no side effects. Diane-35, which was supposed to be good for clearing up acne, GAVE me acne. Mercilon, a low-dosage pill, gave me water retention.
I think what I’m really getting at is that, as my gyno said, 10 women can take the same pill and get 10 different sets of positive-negative effects. Maybe your gyno can switch you onto a different pill that won’t wreak havoc on your body. Mine was so nice she even let me bring back the unused packages of Mercilon and exchange them for Yasmin.
I take Nordette/Monofem which is a a pill with the same dose for 21 days, the 7 days off.
I feel that it has actually HELPED my moods, in that I used to get these insane mood swings the day of my period, where I would swing from laughing to crying and back in seconds. It has also stopped the really heavy bleedin (used to go through a tampon in 2 hrs) making it now down to only changing every 6 hours , and not even really needing it then. The cramps are barely ther, given I used to vomit each time on the first day, and feel so dizzy.
So, it worked for me, but it’s a different pill on a different person. I don’t want to go off it now!
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*hug* hon, seriously. :P you ALWAYS look gorgeous–pill or no pill. besides, skinny isn’t always better. true, your skin was clearing up, but you were kinda looking ashen and spaced out(not in a good way, mind you.) :P
I’m glad you stopped taking ‘em pills. I seriously hope you’re eating right again and feeling better. *hughug*
I’ve been taking birth control pills. Ganun din hindi dahil I don’t want to get knocked up but I have hormonal imbalance (No menstruation for 5 months). I’m allergic to high dose estrogen so my ob-gyne doctor decided to start me on pills (which has micrograms of estrogen). I’m kinda experiencing the same thing. Minsan gusto ko nang tumalon sa building namin, the only thing that would stop me is I don’t really have a reason. What would I write in my suicide note di ba? :D
Unlike you, I can’t stop taking the pills. The doctor said I might get cancer (endometrium) pag hindi naging regular yung menstruation.
Hey Lauren – MY OB suggested Yasmin to me for birth control and I have not had noticeable problems with it. My mood swings have been in existence since before the pill but reading your post on this makes me stop and think… But I dont have the same result with my appetite. :) My food blog will suffer after all. Cheers!
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Lots of people including myself would do anything (oh ok, A LOT) to get rid of depression. (I’m bipolar and it’s incurable.) I find it difficult to see how it would be worth it to undergo a treatment that causes depression! Well I hope it works out for you.
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i take Diane. cleared my skin too, in high school. and i think it affected my boobs too. but ask your OB since i had to take it since i already had hormonal shit going on back then (which is to say, the pill-taking was really for medical reasons…heh). anyways, twas good for me. try and ask your OB. yasmin kasi is kinda stronger, ata.
Hey thar.
Looked into Accutane? It’s supposed to be a permanent acne-fixer. The side effects are pretty bad while you’re on it but it’s temporary (6 months or a year) and the acne’s gone forevvvvar.
My girlfriend had issues with depression on Yas so she’s recently switched to some other hormonal BC whose name I don’t know.
I’ve got two friends who went on Yasmin. One for her hormone problems (to jumpstart a regular menstrual cycle), and the other for birth control (and she was curious about the derma side effects). Can’t really isolate if their mood swings are because of the Pill or because of certain developments in their personal lives (eheh), but Ms. Hormonal Problem now has larger breasts and fuller hips. Ms. Birth Control lost weight (and didn’t retain water much), but she’s gone off the Pill na since she’s sworn abstinence instead.
I’ve been on the pill for more than two years now and tried 4 brands already and the most suited pill for me is believe it or not, Yasmin. Actually different bodies prefer different types of pill. For me it’s Yasmin. I used to take Diane but had the effects that you have gone through with Yasmin so I talked to my doctor and she recommended Yasmin since it’s low-dose, she said. And there you go, I never felt normal. I’m off the pill now because it’s recommended you take a “break” after a couple of years. But when I go back, the pack I’d still buy will be Yasmin.
You just need to find the brand that is well-suited for you. It wasn’t easy going through those pseudo-pregnancy syndromes with all those four other brands but in the end, I found out what is best for my body.
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i’ve taken pills last year when i was in london (because they were free..) and for the first three months, nothing happened. no clearer skin nor weight loss. but after the three months was over, i got really emotional and started eating tons. i constantly cried for no reason, and if i didn’t eat enough, i thought i was going to die from hunger. my mental instability wasn’t funny. finally my friend who was taking the pill got a serious blood clot and got taken to the ER, and i decided that raw sexing is good, but not so much that they can fuck with my hormones. :/
That must be it. The culprit to my sudden change of personality from being bubbly (yes, like the Cali Shandi) to an emotional wreck – that birth control pills. I stopped taking it a year and a half ago but decided to start again because of adult acne and well, ahem, because I just can’t have another baby @ 35. So anyway, a month after into it, my officemates noted that I no longer laugh the loudest, that suddenly I curse in front of my computer screen and complained about everything, from the office stairs (which by the way I have been using for almost three years), our coffee-less pantry, the washroom smell, almost everything. Hubby tried to endure my mood-swings but if I will not stop acting weird, a year will perhaps be too long before court server will send me the divorce paper. I never associated the weird behaviour and yes the crying and all even if the issue is non-upsetting enough for others but a big deal for me to the new pill. That must be it.
I’m glad I came across your blog. Tonight, instead of sulking, I will check some informative websites and start on checking what Aviane, the pill is really all about.
By the way, VMV hypoallergenics works wonder to the face.
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And for the record, the Philippine Dermatological Association’s stance on the Pill is: THEY DON’T RECOMMEND IT for acne control. It’s only as a last resort when other treatments don’t work.
A lot of Pinays just self-medicate from recommendation from friends, and this is dangerous. Just a friendly reminder.
Hmm, actually I just started taking Loestrin24 a few weeks ago, and I have no appetite either. I eat less than a meal every day and I’m never hungry…it’s odd. Also, I get the mood swings as well, but only right after I take my pill. I take it at 10 at night, so by midnight I’m a total bitch, and the next morning I feel like myself again. However, none of my friends have experienced ANY side effects on Yasmin or Loestrin24. Also, remember that it takes a few months (up to 5 or 6) for your body to get used to the hormones. Most doctors will tell you that this side-effect will subside and to continue taking your pills. The levels of estrogen in your body are really high right not, higher than your body is used to, which is causing your severe moodiness. I’d give it time to level out, unless you get suicidal or on the verge of being so.
You’re…awesome. Really. This is the first blog entry of yours that I’ve read since randomly coming upon your site (obviously, since it’s like…right there…) but I can totally relate. It’s odd too that you say all this, because I’ve been seriously considering the pill, and the reason of not having any mini me’s running around was second to the idea of clear skin…
I think I’ll go for it. I hate being medicated in any way (I have hand tremors but never take the medicine for this reason alone. I’m always jonesin…) but the idea of good skin finally seems reason enough for me. And no babies…no…no babies…
To answer your question, before I read your entire post, I thought to myself, but if I’m beautiful, why would I be miserable? You’ve given me a lot to reflect on, and I thank you for that.
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im on yasmin. for only 2 months tho as a trial. it has def affected my mood. i cry more. for no reasons & yes pick fights with the bf. anyway im starting a new one with lower dosage – only 25mg this time. it’s called linessa. it’s a canadian company so i dont know if you’ve heard of it. but i hope my mood swings go away; if not ill have to go back to the good ol’ condom as a form of contraception.
Lauren honey: I first started taking birth control pills when I was 15 years old for the usual hormonal reasons which is normal in our family. I don’t know if you remember that when you started having your periods, we had a short chat — and I shared with you about charting (on a calendar) your periods (heavy, medium, light, spotting) so your doctor can help you when you go in for a OB-GYN visit. I hope you’ve at least done this.
Anyway, there are more CONS than PROS for taking birth control pills. In my case, maybe because of my prolonged use of The Pill, the submucous uterine fibroma tumor in my uterus became enlarged. Since I was a smoker, there was always a danger of having a stroke. If you only what I had to endure to reduce the size of this tumor. Long story, including having menopause induced on me (through Lupron) twice in my life… but the short version is that I made a conscious decision at 40 years old to have a hysterectomy because of my super-anemic status. Myomectomy was an option but I think by that time, I was just too traumatized — and heck, at 40 years old, I couldn’t imagine being a mom at 42 and being 63 years old when my child would graduate from college. Six months after I had my procedure, laser treatments for getting rid of tumors became standard procedures. Do I regret what happened? No. I have a full, purpose-driven life… But did it change my mind about birth control pills? Absolutely.
For every person, there’s a different side-effect.
In hindsight, I don’t remember being overly-emotional and in a depressive state of mind when I was on The Pill. That’s maybe because I’ve always had low estrogen levels. Nowadays, my belly has gotten bigger — to my dismay! Even if I walk for exercise, I need to work much harder now to get my abs (flat stomach) back. However, I am also resigned to the fact that since I am consciously not taking any HRT (hormone replacement therapy), my belly’s fat is the easiest source of estrogen that will keep my body hormonally-balanced. I just have to be better at finding plant sources of estrogen and including them in my diet.
For someone like me who started with these pills at a young age to get my hormone levels to normal, and then getting at least two other types of pills as I grew older, it’s been a rocky ride. I am aware that breast cancer is a fact of life in my family — yet I laugh often to dispel my real or imagined stresses (believing that my happy, laughing cells will kill any possible approach of cancer cells). I am not so “into myself,” i.e. I’ve made a choice to work on projects that excite me and fulfill my socially-conscious goals of abundance. Seeing people happy as a direct or indirect result of my contributions makes me happy. Yes, work is so diverse that it’s always a joy-ride for me. Many people don’t think that my work is work. Heck, it’s all about attitude!
Lauren, I do remember what it was like to be 22 years old. Similar to your experiences — minus the angst I read in your blog. More responsibilities because there was a family business to run. Asleep at 5:00 am but awake at 8:00 am to work. Maybe I didn’t read too much into everything that was happening to me and around me. Perhaps, for me, Life was “as is,” without any pre-emptive worrying.
I’m rambling… Your blog entry triggered so many memories, and is making me write a lot of stuff I don’t write in my own blog. You’re making me more human, girl!
So, for those who want to take The Pill, do what Lauren did. Do your research. Record your experiences. And when it doesn’t work, junk The Pill.
There are advances in The Pill category, I’m sure, since 40 years ago. Just do your homework and weigh the benefits and consequences.
If it’s about sex, there are alternatives, you know, including abstinence… That ain’t so bad. You can transform the raw, sexual energy you have into wonderful creative work. That’s not such a 5,000 year old secret anymore.
:-)
So how’s it going now? Still depressed?
And apologies for being incapable of posting long comments about this issue. :(
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Can you buy pills without a prescription?Is it safe to try out pills without consulting an obgyne?
Pills can be bought over-the-counter at any Watsons. Of course, you should ALWAYS consult with a doctor before you do anything that plays around with your hormones (as pills will).
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Lauren, I have both problems, and one more complicated, I suppose…
I tried hormonal birth control for awhile. I have migraine with aura, and so I couldn’t take any sort of combo pill. I took the “mini-pill” for six months. For six months I had NO periods (WOOHOO!) but my mood was increasingly more depressed. Then in one month, I had three bouts of multiple days of bleeding, no energy, was crying all the time.
The anti-depressants my psychiatrist to combat the problem put me on led to me being diagnosed with bipolar II disorder, several months later. (Putting a “beep” on an anti-depressant = one kinda manic person…)
That was it for me. Paraguard IUD. 8-10 years of birth control. No more hormones. Nothing else to interfere with what I take for my mood disorder.
For the acne? Benzoyl peroxide 10% wash, exfoliation, salicylic acid, twice a day. And I still don’t have totally clear skin.
(And also, my nose points a lil to the side, from being broken. But I deal with being “not-so-pretty” as best I can. I have red hair and blue eyes, so I do okay. :)
check this out
http://youtube.com/watch?v=cZNEAUYjmDs
well acutane worked for me. took it for a bout a year, once a day. ask your derma about it. it’s oral prescription. very effective. dami ko din pimples before. sobra! but am smooth now. i really recommend it. all worth it!
HI lauren, it’s great the accutane worked for denise. (see comment above)
but there are so many risks.
yeah I suggest asking your dermatologist about it, but research about the side effects too. it works for thousands of people, a miracle cure. but there’s a small percentage that had horrible side effects.
take care
Hi Lauren,
I’ve been a sporadic visitor to your blog for a few years now, popping in now and then just to read how someone else views the world. I’m really glad I popped in today, because for the past couple days, I’ve been in the depressive low exactly as you described.
My dermatologist prescribed me birth control for acne. At first I was on Yaz for about 8 months. Every month, I would be fine for 3 weeks, but then the period week would come and I’d completely crash into depression. The worst was always about 3 days before the period. Also, I still had nasty breakouts during my period while on the pill.
I switched to a pill called Kariva. My depressive state has subsided, because with this pill, you are not cut off completely from estrogen for a week. It is a low dose that provides estrogen throughout the whole month. I am not breaking out as badly during my period like I was with Yaz, however, I am noticing the depression returning. I’ve been on it for 4 months. And actually, right now, I’m a day or two from starting my period, and again, I just don’t have any desire to be. I don’t want to work, I don’t want to be around anyone, I am arguing with my boyfriend and want to leave him, I just feel uncaring and want to be completely alone. Yesterday was the crying day lol.
I thought this all would subside, because I switched pills, and over all, I like this one, but reading your blog about this has reminded me how much birth control can effect you. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that you’re on a medication that can have severe effects on your moods and that it’s not just something naturally wrong with you.
Thanks for writing about this. I am now considering stopping the pill, because this is no way to live. I hope things get better for you.
Hey i like your eyebrow. i did mine early may and have changed it a few times already. i have also ordered some earrings from online!
ohhh boy. I had the exact same problem except i took an acne medication called Accutane. Very extreme side effects – thank god none I dealt with – but it was my last resort. I wanted a clear pretty face, but my very paranoid mother did want me to take birth control pills because she was scared of the fact i might take advantage of the birth control purpose. Honestly, i couldn’t be happier. It cleared up my face like magic, i actually have my light skin back. No more ugly dark spots. I recommend it, but definitely consult with your doctor first. I talked to a 3 doctors over the span of 3 months to finally make i decision. It’s very important to be aware of the side effects. I found that knowing why i felt sad and a little anti social actually made me do the opposite. But really, that was all in my head. The worst side effect for me was very chapped lips, and dry skin. Goes away when your done taking it. Overall, you’ll be really satisfied with the results! This is coming from a girl that had terrible acne, that was bound to live with it, just like her older relatives. If you ever have any questions, email me. Definitely put me more at ease when i talked to people who’ve done it.
sorry typo. My paranoid other DID NOT want me to take birth control.
Hi there!
Dont know if you’re going to read this, as I just chanced upon this entry as I was googling the effects of birth control pills online.
I have used Yasmin for quite a while and have found it to be the best pill that I have tried. It not only helped regulate mood swings and my appetite – it really had almost no side effects.
But were all different people so we react differently to different pills I guess.
I just wanted to say that your depression could have not only come from Yasmin – it could have come from the fact that you werent eating at all! Even if you’re not hungry it is important to eat! It keeps you metabolism working and eating carbs helps you produce serotonin.
/
Carbohydrates are important in the fight against depression. They help to release the chemical monoamine serotonin. This chemical is found in the brain and is a mood-enhancer. It induces sleep and brings on relaxation. Depression seems to stem from reduced serotonin in the brain. Hence the feeling of satisfaction as soon as a person eats a meal with carbohydrates. Increasing complex carbohydrates that are absorbed slowly such as brown rice, whole grain wheat, bran, fruits and vegetables may be important in the treatment of depression, as this will help ensure a steady supply of serotonin.
(http://www.buzzle.com/articles/depression-hidden-causes-diet.html)
/ I personally get suuuuper grumpy when I dont eat – and eventually get very depressed and lacking in energy when i forget to eat when stressed over long periods.
anyways,
it was nice chancing upon your blog!
take care! xx
Ingrid
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I’ve been on birth control for about four months. I’m a bit of a drama queen to begin with, but never EVER this bad.
I am so depressed and agitated and every single thing you said.
I hate it.
I’m not ME anymore.
Sometimes I just sit and cry because I’m not me!
The only plus is, my boobs grew like two cup sizes, but I really couldn’t give two shits because I’m crazy now.
I really would like to know if you got better when you went of Yaz.
I hate my life now.
I’m am never happy.