Your class doesnt dictate who u are, but then at the same time, for all of us it does mold our personality and viewpoints. I really appreciate your self-analysis on all this. Thats what makes this a really great blog-post, and why I really respect you, despite my slight jabs.

But you have to admit there’s a 0% chance that someone who grew up in a nipa hut with 2 rice farmer parent could have had a maid their whole life and never asked her if she had kids. Its an aristocratic dilema.

Modern life is full of these dilemas for all of us. Like thomas Jefferson having a slave girlfriend while he was writing “all men are created equal” in the declaration of independence.

Just to show that im not trying to attack you personally, ill add one more point here. Western wannabe-marxist kids typically type there pseudo-intellectual diatribes on computers that use slave-labor manufactured parts from china. As do their microwave ovens, washing machines, air conditioners, etc. They just use a capitalist system as a slavery abstraction layer to create the modern conveniences that keep them from needing to spend 6 hours a day on household chores.

and yes, i’m living the same lifestyle. not immune from criticism, just trying to do my best in context… same as u.

jon

Also, I’m not really sure if I’m Marxist. I mean, I believe in a lot of the ideas and I analyze a lot of events using that as a framework, but I doubt that a real communist state will ever be realized.

My gut reaction here was that just to avoid being a total hypocrite, you might want to avoid using the word marxist to describe yourself. Then, on a whim, I did a search on google for “karl marx maid”, and now my mind has been totally blown. Seems “Fuzzy K” had a maid too. See what Ale thinks of that. LOL.

I gave up thinking i was a marxist in my mid 20s. It’s good as a point of view in the framework of a dialectic with capitalism, but as a way of running a society on its own, it has problems, just like capitalism itself. A broadly egalitarian capitalism where competition is encouraged, corruption is stigmatized, and the “invisible hand” is tempered by proper regulation - all within a society that values human dignity and love of ones neighbor - that now seems to be the best possible government to me.

Human dignity means at least knowing if she has kids. I think you understand that now, but I dont see you wearing all-gray jumpsuits that you washed yourself anytime soon.

j

When I was in Amsterdam last year, I had a meeting with a self-organized group of Overseas Filipino domestic helpers who are working to regularize their status (in the US, you would call that TNT’s working for amnesty). I was so pleased to hear the president of the organization declare that she has 13 clients, mostly really filthy, stinking-rich Hollanders in government. She had clients, she wasn’t an employee, and her services were needed.

Then, we talked about “branding.” I asked them, “Who says that everybody else has the right to call you domestic workers?” To which someone in the group replied, “Someone suggested that we call ourselves Domestic Service Professionals.” I reacted with “That’s it! You have the right to dignify your work as well as the right to label yourselves whoever and whatever you are.” It was as if several light bulbs just exploded into brilliance in this meeting room that Saturday afternoon. I remember that the attendees were so happy with their lesson (would you believe it was about Blogging Basics with doses of Self-Esteem Management?) that they bought the teacher and the guest lecturer (me!) huge McDonald burgers.

As for Ale’s reactions, it’s absolutely normal. Just remind him, “That when in Rome, do what the Romans do.” In the Philippines, there are maids. Fact of life. Period.

Here are some of my own observations and opinions:

1. The Philippines continues to operate on a feudal system when it comes to having domestic helpers. The employers are expected to take care of their trusted staff through thick and thin even when they retire.

2. Even here in the US, in really rich households, the cook and the butler do not sit down for dinner with the family.

I don’t know about other US households but in the few Filipino households that I’ve been to, they have nannies, not maids. Housekeepers, not maids.

3. Getting to know your domestic helpers means that you acknowledge and respect them as human beings and appreciate the value of their work.

I am also aware that we might have had many bad experiences with domestic helpers — thus, we tend to create a boundary such as not talking in a very “familiar” way since “familiarity breeds contempt.” Please tell Ale that this is a very real situation. Trust is earned both ways.

Lauren, even when I was staying with you, I’ve always made it a point to chat with your domestic helpers because I appreciate what they do and I’m curious to know more about their lives and how they think. Yes, I do end up giving some life skills tips to them and sharing our experiences.

I’m not saying that I didn’t go through what you’ve gone through. In fact, I have. I really empathize with your blog entry on this one.

Don’t be too hard on yourself, dearest. Even if Ale expresses an opinion that somewhat makes you feel like you’re not living up to a certain standard, please remember TO HONOR YOUR EXPERIENCES. You’re not expected to be full of wisdom. You’re expected to be a true example of what a human being is — that you are perfect as you are.So, just be. In this case, by writing about a difficult experience and insight, you’ve acknowledged what you’ve learned about yourself — during this timeframe. And, the best part is, you force us to think and re-think about our own life experiences. Now, THAT is a gift to whoever comes into your life. Well done!

I love you!

Tita lorna

“Slaves? Did you just say slaves? Let’s have a quick history quiz here. 1) How long has slavery been legal in Europe? You probably don’t know the answer, but I’m sure it’s a pretty long time—think ancient Greece to the 20th century. 2) Who systematically enslaved millions Africans for three long centuries? Yep, white people. 3) Who has ancestors who owned Oprah’s ancestors? Yes, white people. 4) And what is the essential requirement for belonging to the Klu Klux Klan? You got it right again—you have to be white! Read up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery

“So don’t go moralizing at me, white boy… But don’t get me wrong. We share your ideals of social justice and a minimum quality of life for everyone. We love our yayas like fairy godmothers, and if we had magical powers, we’d give them a Cinderella story. But we don’t. So, white boy, tell me: how do we fix this? What do you want us to do? Not hire someone who would otherwise earn a fraction planting casava? Pay them the same level as college graduates? And it is not as bad as you think. When you think “housemaids,” you think slaves as in Amistad, and it gnaws your conscience. White guilt is your karma. When we think of housemaids, it’s a combination of employment and brining someone into the intimacy of the family. But if you have a bright idea on how to make our society nearer to affluent Europe, we are all ears.”

The best counter attack to class guilt is white guilt

Side note: wow, this is actually you. The last time I read your blog, I think you were in highschool. Remember that post of yours about jologs and conyos? I was doing research for my parody paper on the jologs back then: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Nino_Gonzales/jologs (I’m still interested in identity topics. I recently wrote an essay which deals with race, class and consumerism: http://en.wikipilipinas.org/index.php?title=User:Nino_Gonzales/conyo ). I did not recognize your voice, and wouldn’t have made the connection if it weren’t for your pics. Great stuff you have here!

when i visited my family in the phils the maids regularly ate with us and we hung out and watched wowowee. they also gave me space and i gave them theirs, and we talked about their anxieties, and their opinions on filipino culture and society. i found out that one of them had a kid. and there’s something heart-breaking to know that she only saw her son every three months, who lived a 12 hour bus ride and 8 hour boat trip away (she couldn’t afford to fly). so before i left i gave her the rest of my cash some money for presents for her little boy. often my uncle cooked for them too. to be quite honest, my aunt and uncle had basically adopted their ‘maids’ as they’re even younger than i am.

as, essentially, a ‘foreigner’ but still, to some extent, a ‘local’ i think i have a better understanding of where ale and you are coming from. i work whilst i study, and i wash the dishes, and take a share of vacuuming the house. i don’t cook because the only thing i can cook is mi goreng, and my mum does the laundry. the rents pay for my school books, but i buy everything else: my train tickets, my booze when i go out, all the clothes i splurge on, and i’ve began paying rent to my folks, which they’re putting away for me so i can get my own place. sometimes my mum calls me before i come home to buy some groceries and i use the money i’ve earned and don’t expect a reimbursement. (i know this all seems like gratuitous self-love, but bear with me.)

i think the term ‘perspective’ is a good term, not just from me, or ale, or foreigners, or locals, or you, but everyone and their individual narratives and experiences. i also recognise the social stratification in the phils and how difficult it is to get a job. i also understand that maids are not so much a necessity but a form of employment (which is necessary for them), as so long as the social and economic strata of the phils remains stagnant then maids will continue to be used.

change works from within the system, and complacency only perpetuates it. and when you’re used to the system it’s often difficult to see because it’s normalised. conversely, as a foreigner it’s difficult to understand the mechanics of a different social system, and maids are such a foreign concept to anyone not in the bill gates class if you live in the ‘west’. i don’t see what ale as said as a criticism, but rather an idealistic observation.

then there is the question of filipino overseas domestic workers who are exploited, abused, and often coerced and forced in to bondage. there’s always a place for ideals and beliefs, and moral and ethical codes, but for the moment let’s work with personal and social attitudes, first. i don’t think you’re classist, nor particularly naive, just desensitized.

this was a great and insightful entry, just keep doing your thang.

Now ask Europeans why they have to hire caregivers for their elderly parents or send them to nursing homes.