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Being unable to write songs is one of my biggest creative frustrations. Wait, let me correct that statement. Being unable to write songs when I’m NOT madly in love with someone or depressed enough to want to be dead when I grow up is one of my biggest creative frustrations. Unlike plain old creative writing, something I can do fairly well no matter what the state of my mind is, I can only write songs when my emotions are on the negative extreme of the spectrum. And by “write songs” I mean “Come up with a bunch of random chord progressions, even though I don’t know what most of these chords are called.” I wish I could write lyrics as well, but I’ve seen sixteen year old goth girls with better angst, so I stopped trying.

I sort of wrote something new, though. Or rather, I rewrote something old. Yesterday, I was looking through the bowels of my Livejournal when I came across a poem from an Almost Boyfriend. It was the first poem anyone has EVER written for me and I remember being touched to the point of tears when I got it. Almost Boyfriend isn’t the creative type, let alone the (decent) poetry-writing type. I didn’t know what to say, so I thanked him the only way I could. On the very same day he gave me the poem, I turned it into a song, recorded it, and gave it to him.

The scratchy old recording was still in my hard drive, completely untouched by the ravages of time and the death of the last love affair. After listening to the recording several times (and trying to ignore my inability to sing), I figured out the chords, re-recorded the song, and added a solo part.

So here it is. Lyrics are by the Almost Boyfriend, melody and guitar arrangement done by me. If I were you I wouldn’t pay too much attention to the vocal quality and the fact that I sound like a six-year old girl with a terrible cold. Don’t even try to bullshit me - I know what I’m good at and I know where I suck, and I suck at singing. -_-

Checkmate
Download song

Seeing you move in all directions,
Peasantly innocence, my protection,
The trick lies in my hiding,
Directly out of the text book,
Castling behind my rook.

We’re King and Queen,
Standing side by side,
Don’t ever leave me,
I won’t survive.

Running out of tiles,
Behind me, diabolical smiles,
A knight is on my back,
Don’t want to get knocked down
and have to relinquish my crown.

We’re King and Queen,
Standing side by side,
Don’t ever leave me,
I won’t survive.

The proverbial standstill,
A stale mate against our will,
Feeling like a duffer in this game,

We’re King and Queen,
Standing side by side,
Don’t ever leave me,
I won’t survive.
We’re King and Queen,
Standing side by side
Don’t ever leave

Lets keep each other awake,
There’s no more moves left to make.

What happened to the Almost Boyfriend, you ask? Well despite what the poem says about please never leaving him, HE was the one who left me. Apparently, he didn’t like that I kept nagging him about going back to school and getting his life together so he could become a responsible adult. Gee, so much for not being able to survive without me around.

In any case, that guitar solo is the closest thing I’ve come to writing a new song these days. I’m happy that I’m happy, but must I really be insanely in love or insane enough to want to kill myself to get touched by the songwriting muse?