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I’ve never been one for fairy tales. As a child I was fed the usual diet of Disney movies and happily-ever-after endings by my well-meaning parents, which I did enjoy. Sometimes, however, I wish they exposed my childhood self to literature along the lines of The Call of Cthulhu instead. It’s quite a shock to enter the real world and discover that:

a) there really IS such a thing as Prince Charming, but he’s so damn charming that all the Prince Charmings in all fairy tales are one and the same guy
b) the hero complex all those would-be Princes have gets really old and ridiculous after a while
c) wicked witches in the woods make better friends than pampered princesses
d) I’m not going to sit around and wait for some douchebag on a horse to protect me from the dragons and giants of the world. I can venture out of my castle all alone just fine, thank you very much.

I suppose all that happy ending propaganda is good for something because kids would start swinging from their bedroom windows if they learned how shitty life can get at such an early age. Once I start crapping out babies I’ll still read them fairy tales, but with a healthy mix of their retold versions, just so they don’t have any illusions about what kind of characters and moral dilemmas are waiting for them outside their parent’s home.

Last Friday I saw The New Voice Company’s production of Into the Woods with Fritz at the Music Museum. Seeing as I am an uncultured lout, all I knew about the play was that it’s a retelling of several fairy tales in a single narrative; I wasn’t entirely sure about the particulars of the plot and the conflict. But that basic premise was enough to get me all excited about finally getting to see it onstage. What I love about the sub-genre of retold fairy tales is the clever way in which black and white are sprinkled with shades of gray and the unexpected and often dark twists added to predictable and saccharine childhood classics.

For a moment I was worried that Into the Woods would be a total disappointment. The first act of the play, which ran for about an hour and a half, was surprisingly campy for a retold fairy tale. The bad guys got punished and the good guys got their wishes granted after a series of deus-ex-machina moments. Save for Julia Abueva, the 11-year old girl who played Red Riding Hood, I wasn’t too impressed by the cast’s performance. I was ready to go home and crash by the time the characters were prancing about on stage being all in-your-face about getting what they wanted. But the real retelling begins at Act Two; the plot becomes far more sinister as our fairy tale heroes suffer the treachery of their deepest desires. As though the cast members were saving their energy, everyone’s performances picked up and I got wowed off my seat by their powerful musical monologues, especially Lynn Sherman’s (The Witch) rendition of The Last Midnight. Act Two is also the part where characters start dying off one by one. I’m not going to say which characters get squished under the giant’s heel but rest assured, the most useless and annoying one gets her due, and you’ll be snickering like mad when that finally happens.

If you intend to bring children under ten years old to see Into the Woods, I suggest that you leave after Act One ends because they’re bound to get restless and bored by the time Act Two kicks in. Not that I doubt your children’s intelligence, but Act Two deals with realities that they won’t be able to appreciate. They’ll start making whimpering noises, squirming in their seats, and demanding that their parents take them to the bathroom — all of which is bound to distract, irritate, and ultimately piss off noise-sensitive, children-hating theatergoers such as myself.

Overall, Into the Woods is a very intelligent production that deals with highly complex themes on life, love, friendship, betrayal, and greed. The intricate fashion in which every character’s fears and desires overlap and get woven together into one narrative is bound to keep you more than just entertained. Just like any excellent fairy tale retelling, Into the Woods makes you think about life, the necessity of going “into the woods” to make things right, and other important stuff as the events after happily-ever-after unfold.

For show dates, ticket reservations, and other questions, check out The Bachelor Girl.