Comments on: The Two Types http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/ Dictating the Internet since 1996 Wed, 16 May 2012 10:07:09 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: j http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/comment-page-1/#comment-36762 j Fri, 20 Jul 2007 05:14:30 +0000 http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/#comment-36762 you've just described my last 2 boyfriends! only, i was with the normal guy first and the brooding artist after. sigh you’ve just described my last 2 boyfriends! only, i was with the normal guy first and the brooding artist after. sigh

]]> By: Andrea http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/comment-page-1/#comment-28212 Andrea Wed, 16 May 2007 01:10:18 +0000 http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/#comment-28212 I am marrying a guy very much like ghostlightning next year though I always believed that I would somehow end up with someone "normal" like you indicated (read: also, boring). I can assure you that it's very true what he says about people growing up an inevitably evolving into things that aren't so obviously brooding and artistic or normal. I'm 28 now and I can tell you that when I was your age or when I was younger at 18, definitely there were no guys that existed on most of the levels that I knew would really make me happy. They were, essentially, all in the same boat I was of still evolving and figuring out where they were going and how they were going to get there. It gets better though. It definitely gets better. I can tell you that, honestly, I never believed that I would find a guy like the one I've found. It really and truly happened though when I stopped occupying myself with worrying whether it happen or not or when it would happen or not or what I might end up with instead. It also happened when I stopped focusing on what he was instead of all of the things that he's not because what I realized was that for the longest time having convinced myself that a person like him couldn't even exist, I probably would have picked him apart and made him NOT exist if I had let myself do so. So who knows? This Normal Guy you've found mind end up having a bit of the brooding artist that you so love inside of himself. He might just not be showing it to just anyone though because he was waiting for someone like you to come along - who was worth waiting for more than anyone else in the world. :) I am marrying a guy very much like ghostlightning next year though I always believed that I would somehow end up with someone “normal” like you indicated (read: also, boring). I can assure you that it’s very true what he says about people growing up an inevitably evolving into things that aren’t so obviously brooding and artistic or normal. I’m 28 now and I can tell you that when I was your age or when I was younger at 18, definitely there were no guys that existed on most of the levels that I knew would really make me happy. They were, essentially, all in the same boat I was of still evolving and figuring out where they were going and how they were going to get there. It gets better though. It definitely gets better.

I can tell you that, honestly, I never believed that I would find a guy like the one I’ve found. It really and truly happened though when I stopped occupying myself with worrying whether it happen or not or when it would happen or not or what I might end up with instead. It also happened when I stopped focusing on what he was instead of all of the things that he’s not because what I realized was that for the longest time having convinced myself that a person like him couldn’t even exist, I probably would have picked him apart and made him NOT exist if I had let myself do so.

So who knows? This Normal Guy you’ve found mind end up having a bit of the brooding artist that you so love inside of himself. He might just not be showing it to just anyone though because he was waiting for someone like you to come along – who was worth waiting for more than anyone else in the world. :)

]]> By: Cait http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/comment-page-1/#comment-28149 Cait Tue, 15 May 2007 05:15:16 +0000 http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/#comment-28149 Ever since you decided to be a writer, your blog posts have been awesome. I loved this one, so heartfelt and so true! Good luck with the new job! Ever since you decided to be a writer, your blog posts have been awesome. I loved this one, so heartfelt and so true!
Good luck with the new job!

]]> By: ghostlightning http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/comment-page-1/#comment-28147 ghostlightning Tue, 15 May 2007 05:11:26 +0000 http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/#comment-28147 Fredda said: "I agree with ghostlightning. my problem with artists is that I always feel compelled to treat them even on dates because I think they had better SAVE their money for something more important- something that will benefit humanity… i don’t mind paying all the time for poor friends but I sure as hell won’t have a family with a man I’ll financially support!!!" i understand this sentiment. when i was 19 i went out with this girl who was an awesome brooding artist (still is?) but was also far better off than me financially. she treated me all the time as well. but early on she let me know that if she had to choose between a brooding artist and someone who was well off, she would choose the latter. and she did choose someone like that at the time. these days, when i make some money more than i don't, i feel a natural sympathy for friends who have been stuck at their brooding artist phases and are struggling with life (now that they're in their thirties and have children to support). i find it very difficult not to extend financial support - that could've been me. i really think so. maybe people like me who have this affinity for people like this can, when (eventually) successful financially and do have superfluous money, create or support not-for-profit organizations that support artists. just something to brood over. Fredda said:

“I agree with ghostlightning. my problem with artists is that I always feel compelled to treat them even on dates because I think they had better SAVE their money for something more important- something that will benefit humanity… i don’t mind paying all the time for poor friends but I sure as hell won’t have a family with a man I’ll financially support!!!”

i understand this sentiment. when i was 19 i went out with this girl who was an awesome brooding artist (still is?) but was also far better off than me financially. she treated me all the time as well.

but early on she let me know that if she had to choose between a brooding artist and someone who was well off, she would choose the latter. and she did choose someone like that at the time.

these days, when i make some money more than i don’t, i feel a natural sympathy for friends who have been stuck at their brooding artist phases and are struggling with life (now that they’re in their thirties and have children to support). i find it very difficult not to extend financial support – that could’ve been me. i really think so.

maybe people like me who have this affinity for people like this can, when (eventually) successful financially and do have superfluous money, create or support not-for-profit organizations that support artists.

just something to brood over.

]]> By: the jester-in-exile http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/comment-page-1/#comment-28141 the jester-in-exile Tue, 15 May 2007 03:55:30 +0000 http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/#comment-28141 on a lighter note, lauren (though this joke is rather half-meant): are you certain that Normal Guy is part of the human species? on a lighter note, lauren (though this joke is rather half-meant): are you certain that Normal Guy is part of the human species?

]]> By: Fredda http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/comment-page-1/#comment-28099 Fredda Mon, 14 May 2007 12:49:16 +0000 http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/#comment-28099 Hi lauren~ I don't think you will really outgrow being a brooding artist type. One cannot be truly passionate about art without living and breathing it. what you (and I) will learn, I think, is to compromise and keep it in the backs of our minds. I myself will no longer be able to attend art films. I won't be reading Arendt and Heidegger now that I'll be a law student. I'm just biding my time for LIFE- life with art and passion. that will only happen once I become financially independent. as for the brooding artist type, I sure hope you'll find your match who will be financially independent. I agree with ghostlightning. my problem with artists is that I always feel compelled to treat them even on dates because I think they had better SAVE their money for something more important- something that will benefit humanity... i don't mind paying all the time for poor friends but I sure as hell won't have a family with a man I'll financially support!!! *^__^* Hi lauren~

I don’t think you will really outgrow being a brooding artist type. One cannot be truly passionate about art without living and breathing it. what you (and I) will learn, I think, is to compromise and keep it in the backs of our minds. I myself will no longer be able to attend art films. I won’t be reading Arendt and Heidegger now that I’ll be a law student. I’m just biding my time for LIFE- life with art and passion. that will only happen once I become financially independent.

as for the brooding artist type, I sure hope you’ll find your match who will be financially independent. I agree with ghostlightning. my problem with artists is that I always feel compelled to treat them even on dates because I think they had better SAVE their money for something more important- something that will benefit humanity… i don’t mind paying all the time for poor friends but I sure as hell won’t have a family with a man I’ll financially support!!!

*^__^*

]]> By: J http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/comment-page-1/#comment-27779 J Fri, 11 May 2007 02:48:56 +0000 http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/#comment-27779 The same thing happens to me. I would consider myself normal... or more like pseudonormal, but I always find myself attracted to someone who's the complete opposite of me. From time to time though, I look for the normal or pseudonormal who would get me right away. I've dated both type, but to this day I still have no idea which type would make sense with me. Like the other person said, have fun Lauren and hope things work out for you :) The crush stage is the best. The same thing happens to me. I would consider myself normal… or more like pseudonormal, but I always find myself attracted to someone who’s the complete opposite of me. From time to time though, I look for the normal or pseudonormal who would get me right away. I’ve dated both type, but to this day I still have no idea which type would make sense with me.

Like the other person said, have fun Lauren and hope things work out for you :) The crush stage is the best.

]]> By: liz http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/comment-page-1/#comment-27772 liz Fri, 11 May 2007 02:07:24 +0000 http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/#comment-27772 Beautiful ironies of life. I used to believe I wanted an artist guy who can play the guitar, whom I can share same drama, or can appreciate poetry, etc. We shared the similarities for four years but it's just didn't work out right. A normal guy came and surprisingly he makes me happy and I'm loving him more each day. Life indeed is full of opposites that complement each other just like happy and sad, as well as give and take. Goodluck, you have my best wishes :) Beautiful ironies of life. I used to believe I wanted an artist guy who can play the guitar, whom I can share same drama, or can appreciate poetry, etc. We shared the similarities for four years but it’s just didn’t work out right. A normal guy came and surprisingly he makes me happy and I’m loving him more each day. Life indeed is full of opposites that complement each other just like happy and sad, as well as give and take.

Goodluck, you have my best wishes :)

]]> By: Lauren http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/comment-page-1/#comment-27666 Lauren Thu, 10 May 2007 16:21:40 +0000 http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/#comment-27666 <i>think some brooding artists just grow up. though i know of a few that didn’t, and it’s sad in a way. but i don’t think you want to be there when the growing up happens - because it’s messy, hurtful, and humiliating.</i> Oh wow, that makes so much sense. I think the brooding artists I've been dating are still in that growing up stage. Or maybe they'll be like that for the rest of their lives. In any case, I really don't want to stick around and wait for them to grow up! I did that once and I was a wreck for weeks; in my naivety I thought I could change him. But now I know better. I think I'm quite the brooding artist myself and hopefully I'll grow out of my angst sometime soon. I really do pity whoever is interested in me right now, I'm quite a mess. :D think some brooding artists just grow up. though i know of a few that didn’t, and it’s sad in a way. but i don’t think you want to be there when the growing up happens – because it’s messy, hurtful, and humiliating.

Oh wow, that makes so much sense. I think the brooding artists I’ve been dating are still in that growing up stage. Or maybe they’ll be like that for the rest of their lives. In any case, I really don’t want to stick around and wait for them to grow up! I did that once and I was a wreck for weeks; in my naivety I thought I could change him. But now I know better.

I think I’m quite the brooding artist myself and hopefully I’ll grow out of my angst sometime soon. I really do pity whoever is interested in me right now, I’m quite a mess. :D

]]> By: ghostlightning http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/comment-page-1/#comment-27622 ghostlightning Thu, 10 May 2007 11:57:23 +0000 http://laurganism.com/2007/05/10/the-two-types/#comment-27622 i used to be brooding artist and became normal guy along the way. my wife is superachiever (lawyer, mba, military credentials...). i have this theory that she was attracted to the brooding artist that was (his ghost still shows up from time to time), and is reassured by normal guy. let's give some detail: i am a lit major/philo minor who wrote silly poems that somehow got published (to my mixed pride/horror), and was a teacher of lit classes for 2 years. now i'm a manager of an investment and holdings company, making decent wages. i'm 30 years old, my wife is turning 32. no kids until next year (extended honeymoon muna :-) back in college she probably wouldn't want anything to do with me. i think some brooding artists just grow up. though i know of a few that didn't, and it's sad in a way. but i don't think you want to be there when the growing up happens - because it's messy, hurtful, and humiliating. have fun, date. rock. in 5-6 years you'll met artists who are done with their brooding, still in love with their trivia, anime, eastern european novels, umberto eco... and a whole lot of space for you. thanks for posting this, i've been thinking of my wife and how we ended up together, and your writing framed the context quite well. i used to be brooding artist and became normal guy along the way. my wife is superachiever (lawyer, mba, military credentials…). i have this theory that she was attracted to the brooding artist that was (his ghost still shows up from time to time), and is reassured by normal guy.

let’s give some detail: i am a lit major/philo minor who wrote silly poems that somehow got published (to my mixed pride/horror), and was a teacher of lit classes for 2 years. now i’m a manager of an investment and holdings company, making decent wages. i’m 30 years old, my wife is turning 32. no kids until next year (extended honeymoon muna :-)

back in college she probably wouldn’t want anything to do with me.

i think some brooding artists just grow up. though i know of a few that didn’t, and it’s sad in a way. but i don’t think you want to be there when the growing up happens – because it’s messy, hurtful, and humiliating.

have fun, date. rock. in 5-6 years you’ll met artists who are done with their brooding, still in love with their trivia, anime, eastern european novels, umberto eco… and a whole lot of space for you.

thanks for posting this, i’ve been thinking of my wife and how we ended up together, and your writing framed the context quite well.

]]>