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I resigned myself to the fact that the closest thing to romance I would get today was a quick, wholesome kiss from my (adorable) gay friend, who would’ve probably enjoyed the experience if I had a penis instead of a vagina.

If my mom didn’t go in my room to wake me up from my nap with a, “ZOMG what is that package doing on your desk??”, I would have never noticed that I had a package from Island Rose.

I take back whatever cynicism I used to have for this pseudo-holiday. I take back every single time I rolled my eyes at the thought of getting flowers because I’ve always found plant sex organs a terribly impractical (not to mention sexually-laden, bordering on offensive) present.

Every nerve in my body is giddy with joy. And now I can’t stop smiling. <3

My dad, on the other hand, can’t stop regretting not stealing the roses when I was sleeping because he didn’t buy my mom anything today. Ha!

Thank you, sweetheart.