laurganism.com |

I believe that The Da Vinci Code movie should be banned. Not because I agree with the Catholic church, who says that the movie is heresy and a threat to the Catholic faith. Personally, I think 99% of all Catholics are a cowardly, lying bunch of hypocrites to begin with and I’m hardly inclined to agree with anything they say. Besides, The Da Vinci Code is fiction for crying out loud. I don’t see what the big fuss is all about. It’s fiction. It’s not for real. Get over it.

The Da Vinci Code movie must be banned because it SUCKED–as a story and a movie.

Oh, where to begin this rant…

Let’s start with the plot itself. I have no problems with the religious ideas that this book/movie has. I like that the story introduced the possibility that Mary Magdalene might be the wife of Jesus Christ. It’s brilliant. It’s something new, it’s something worth doing further research on, and it’s something that makes you think. Sadly, Dan Brown ruined this concept by putting it smack in the middle of a piece of shit story, populated by piece of shit characters who do nothing but run around like headless chickens and who occassionally spew obscure information so that the reader can think that Dan Brown is the next fucking Einstein.

The first half of the movie is supposed to be thrilling. The curator of the Louvre is found dead with a weird symbol on his chest. Suddenly, the whole police force of France is convinced that the hero is the curator’s murderer. In a good movie, you would be gnawing your fingernails and practically dying from suspense as the hero and the hot chick try to escape the long arm of the law.

But not in the Da Vinci Code. Not only did I feel no tension during this part of the movie; I was bored to tears. Robert Langdon and Sophie Neveu moved from place to place as if they knew exactly what they should do next. Never mind that any normal person in that situation would be too panicky to do anything but scream, “What the fuck is going on?! What the fuck do you all want with me?” The two managed to escape from dead end to dead end while recounting childhood memories and giving lectures on obscure topics in between.

Since the next half of the movie failed to redeem itself, I’m going to spoil the rest of the movie for all of you so that you don’t get bothered to pay a hundred or so pesos to see it on the big screen. (Trust me, I’m doing you a favor. You won’t miss much.)

Sir Leigh Teabing
Blahblahblahblah I’m the bad guy.

Robert Langdon and Sophie Neveu
NOOOO!

*Robert Langdon roundhouse-kicks Sir Leigh Teabing and the cops arrest the latter*

*Robert Langdon and Sophie Neveu end up in some church*

Robert Langdon
*looking through files* This was where Mary Magdalene was buried. Too bad they moved her somewhere else. So Sophie, why are you pissed at your grandfather again?

Sophie Neveu
Oh, I walked in on him while he was having sex with some woman during this weird cult ritual thing.

Robert Langdon
ZOMG SOPHIE YOU’RE THE DESCENDANT OF JESUS CHRIST!!~

*movie should have ended here*

Sophie Neveu
No way, dude! *tries to walk on water and fails* I can’t prove this empirically!

Robert Langdon
That’s okay. All that matters is you believe.

What’s particularly depressing about The Da Vinci Code is all the people who watched this movie and walked out of the theater with this really smug look on their faces. It’s a sad day when people think they’re a lot smarter after going through such a mediocre movie/piece of fiction. I think for once, the Catholic Church is doing a huge favor to all Filipinos by having this movie banned. You’ve worked too hard for your hundred pesos to waste it on The Da Vinci Code.

Related links:
Smartania’s review of The Da Vinci Code
Wikipedia, Criticisms of The Da Vinci Code

After not logging onto my MySpace account in a long time, I finally checked it today only to be chewed on by this lady who wasn’t very happy about what I did to a certain work of art.

zoom in

In my defence, all my Livejournal layouts are simply a product of my boredom and total lack of better things to do. I do not, in any way, make money out of them. In fact, my Livejournal layouts aren’t even readily accessible to everyone; I made the community friends-only. The only thing I take credit for is the coding of these layouts, though they may not necessarily be the best out there. I have never claimed to be the creator of the images that I use. But perhaps I didn’t make that bit clear, so I included a disclaimer on my LJ community.

Bah. I’m tired and I’m cranky and I don’t have respect for most artists out there to begin with anyway. So it really doesn’t make sense for me to claim somebody else’s work as my own.

A few minutes ago, I woke up to the best thing I have heard all summer: the sound of rain.

According to this site, Chanchu, an almost-typhoon, has hit the Philippines. It’ll pass in a few days, but that’s all right. For one glorious day, we have been saved from the searing heat of the tropical sun.

Of course, rainy days are only good when you know you’ll be doing nothing more than reading in your room and playing PS2 games all day. Commuting in the rain is quite a hassle, mostly because I hate the squishy feeling of walking with wet Birkinstocks. Luckily, I made no social plans for today so I shall be enjoying the wonderful weather with a nice roof over my head.