I support the ban of The Da Vinci Code movie
Posted by Lauren | Under Movies, Reviews with 1,116 views Friday May 19, 2006
I believe that The Da Vinci Code movie should be banned. Not because I agree with the Catholic church, who says that the movie is heresy and a threat to the Catholic faith. Personally, I think 99% of all Catholics are a cowardly, lying bunch of hypocrites to begin with and I’m hardly inclined to agree with anything they say. Besides, The Da Vinci Code is fiction for crying out loud. I don’t see what the big fuss is all about. It’s fiction. It’s not for real. Get over it.
The Da Vinci Code movie must be banned because it SUCKED–as a story and a movie.
Oh, where to begin this rant…
Let’s start with the plot itself. I have no problems with the religious ideas that this book/movie has. I like that the story introduced the possibility that Mary Magdalene might be the wife of Jesus Christ. It’s brilliant. It’s something new, it’s something worth doing further research on, and it’s something that makes you think. Sadly, Dan Brown ruined this concept by putting it smack in the middle of a piece of shit story, populated by piece of shit characters who do nothing but run around like headless chickens and who occassionally spew obscure information so that the reader can think that Dan Brown is the next fucking Einstein.
The first half of the movie is supposed to be thrilling. The curator of the Louvre is found dead with a weird symbol on his chest. Suddenly, the whole police force of France is convinced that the hero is the curator’s murderer. In a good movie, you would be gnawing your fingernails and practically dying from suspense as the hero and the hot chick try to escape the long arm of the law.
But not in the Da Vinci Code. Not only did I feel no tension during this part of the movie; I was bored to tears. Robert Langdon and Sophie Neveu moved from place to place as if they knew exactly what they should do next. Never mind that any normal person in that situation would be too panicky to do anything but scream, “What the fuck is going on?! What the fuck do you all want with me?” The two managed to escape from dead end to dead end while recounting childhood memories and giving lectures on obscure topics in between.
Since the next half of the movie failed to redeem itself, I’m going to spoil the rest of the movie for all of you so that you don’t get bothered to pay a hundred or so pesos to see it on the big screen. (Trust me, I’m doing you a favor. You won’t miss much.)
Sir Leigh Teabing
Blahblahblahblah I’m the bad guy.
Robert Langdon and Sophie Neveu
NOOOO!
*Robert Langdon roundhouse-kicks Sir Leigh Teabing and the cops arrest the latter*
*Robert Langdon and Sophie Neveu end up in some church*
Robert Langdon
*looking through files* This was where Mary Magdalene was buried. Too bad they moved her somewhere else. So Sophie, why are you pissed at your grandfather again?
Sophie Neveu
Oh, I walked in on him while he was having sex with some woman during this weird cult ritual thing.
Robert Langdon
ZOMG SOPHIE YOU’RE THE DESCENDANT OF JESUS CHRIST!!~
*movie should have ended here*
Sophie Neveu
No way, dude! *tries to walk on water and fails* I can’t prove this empirically!
Robert Langdon
That’s okay. All that matters is you believe.
What’s particularly depressing about The Da Vinci Code is all the people who watched this movie and walked out of the theater with this really smug look on their faces. It’s a sad day when people think they’re a lot smarter after going through such a mediocre movie/piece of fiction. I think for once, the Catholic Church is doing a huge favor to all Filipinos by having this movie banned. You’ve worked too hard for your hundred pesos to waste it on The Da Vinci Code.
Related links:
Smartania’s review of The Da Vinci Code
Wikipedia, Criticisms of The Da Vinci Code
Thanks for this laugh-out-loud moment, Lauren. I hope you got your money back.
hehe you should submit your review to FilmCrowd.com :)
We already have a page up for Da Vinci Code here: http://www.filmcrowd.com/content/world/all/5092/Da_Vinci_Code_The/8/0
I know your call for the movie to be banned is tongue-in-cheek, but it’s important to remember Voltaire: “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”
No matter how bad the film is, there’s no reason for it to be banned. And there are important free speech issues at play here.
Anyway, as for fiction books masquerading as a historical record, don’t you think the Church are fine ones to talk, given some of the content of their favourite book?
http://jonathan.rawle.org/2006/05/13/the-da-vinci-code-fiction-and-free-speech/
I was psyched to watch the movie until I actually saw it. I was very dissapointed.
Have you read “Angels & Demons”? I liked the story better than Da Vinci Code, and I think it would’ve made for a better movie.
True, true. People may be free to say whatever they like, but you’re also just as free to ignore them :]
I think the Church is being a tad defensive. It’s almost as if they’re scared. Kind of funny, actually.
Ugh. I hate Dan Brown. He’s a disgrace to all writers and I think he should be shot.
It’s simple: The Da Vinci Code is an unfilmable movie, period. How exactly do you make a movie that’s based on theories and propagandist crap, with no character development or any of the necessities required in the making of a film? Without the whole Mary Magdalene-as-Jesus’-wife allegation, there wouldn’t BE a story, because the entire thing was built around Dan Brown’s stupid theory (which, technically, isn’t really his, since he like, stole it from other unorthodox non-fiction writers anyway).
There are far worse movies that should never even have made it to duplication. I’m glad that this movie wasn’t banned. This way, we get to hear all the bad reviews about it, which, hopefully, will then lead to Dan Brown getting shot.
I thought this blog http://lunachikarra.blogspot.com/2006/05/da-vinci-crap.html somehow similar yours
If a part 2 is in the works maybe they should call it “The Vermicelli Code”. 15 or 20 years later they’ll do a remake…
I’ve read all of Dan Brown’s books and enjoyed them tremendously. Have you sold 40 million copies of anything? No? Oh.. shut up. Go sit in your corner!
Oh wow. The number of stupid people was a lot greater than I thought. 40 million morons. Wow.
you have no idea how much i agree with you. it sucks so much. really.
the book was good. the movie was badly done.
dear whatever, numbers don’t mean anything. crap can sell a lot too, but they don’t make them any less crap. refer to trashy magazines and show.
The Language used by everyone that has commented on this subject clearly denotes an enormous lack of education. Questioning and uncovering truth it was contributes to the growth of humanity. Clearly no one on this page will make such a contribution other than their blue collar jobs. It even the most basic studies of history, which I am correct everyone has at some point in high school, tells us that history is always documented by the “winners.” There in lies the need for further exploration and uncovering of the truth. To completely dismiss the subject which with a little digging is enormous, you are merely a sheep. Which is needed in this world. Not everyone can be a leader. But the role of the sheep is to silently obey and leave the real debate to scholarly figures. Mr. Brown wrote a riveting story. Maybe the movie wasn’t the best idea. But the story takes place in a 24 hour period. Whoever brought up character development is an idiot. What kind of character development can you possibly have in 24 hours, especially if you are uncovering things that people have spent lifetimes studying. You can’t just grapple with things of that magnitude. It can’t be processed in that fashion. Christianity has every feature of a cult. to immediate reject other possibilities is exactly what has made people drink the cool aide. Wake up my little sheep!
I’ve received a lot of stupid comments in this blog, but your holds a special place in my heart.
Although the whole Mary Magdalene idea is intriguing and worth looking into, it doesn’t change the fact that Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code is a mediocre piece of crap.
And just so you know, using the language of a moth-eaten textbook doesn’t make you sound smart.
I agree that the book is crappy as hell – and the movie probably sucks balls (yes, im among the elect who chose not to see it), but i’d rather have it shown so that the christian idiots in this country could have their day. if it irks the church even more and makes them look more ridiculous, that would make me want to name DVC as the best film ever.
death to the church!
The book and movie are not crappy. To say it should be banned simply because you did not appreciate it means that you are a fucking moron. Die you stupid maggot.
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You could consider it pure fiction since Dan Brown built pure fiction on factual premises. Nonetheless, it has great entertainment value. Have you read or intend to read Angels and Demons?
Of course I have. :P
hahaha! lol! i love your rantingd. its funny.
oh and btw, i think dan brown is just freaking s2pid.
hahaha! lol! i love your rantingd. its funny.
oh and btw, i think dan brown is just freaking s2pid.
I think the book should be banned because the Mona Lisa has been forever ruined for me! And I love art. :mad:
The story is ridiculous. There are good fiction stories but DVC is an instrument in trying to insinuate falsehood. If Christ had an offspring through anyone without getting married, He would be violating His own commands, making Hima sinner, which He is not. You’re right, it’s crap….I did not watch it on big screen. Just rented the video…a lot cheaper. P15 to review. Not bad.