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I feel like a complete anomaly by saying that I do not have a single girlfriend. True, I hang out with a bunch of really great, intelligent girls at our very own corner of the school that we call The Table. We make fun of the same people, and laugh and bitch about the same things. But that’s pretty much where my relationship with them ends. I don’t think I can ever have another really close female friend because if there is anything I’ve learned from four years of being in an all-girls high school and failed female friendships in college, it’s that women are very emotional, very fickle beings.

I’m sure this scenario is familiar to any girl who has had at least one girlfriend in her life. Friend A does something that pissed Friend B off. Friend B is very pissed at Friend A, but Friend A is unaware of it. Friend B doesn’t tell Friend A for one reason or another, and her negative feelings towards Friend A bubble and boil inside her until one day, everything explodes like a really intense orgasm. Friendship ends, making things very awkward for everyone else concerned.

I don’t know any woman–including myself–who is honest and up-front about what she feels about another person. I’m trying to change this about myself though because I believe that it is best to let people know the truth even if it hurts them or pisses them off. Blinding somebody with fake smiles and how-are-yous is like making that somebody the town idiot. It’s really not fair. The truth can be a harsh, painful thing–but you’re better off with it than being ignorant. Look at it this way–knowing the truth about yourself allows you to change what has to be changed in order to make you a better person.

The point is, any kind of relationship can’t survive if the two people involved can’t be frank with each other. For a relationship to work, a certain level of trust has to be present. And how can you trust a person with more serious matters when she can’t even tell you what she honestly thinks about you?

And this is why I’m staying away from girlfriends for now. In the unlikely instance I meet a girl who can be honest to me, I’ll be happy to have her as my friend. But until then, I’ll be floating in a nice warm pool called the gray area. Sure, I do miss having girlfriends. I miss the sleepovers, the shopping trips, the makeovers, and most of all, the girl talk. But even if I can do these things with the average woman, I can’t enjoy the experience as much with the knowledge that this person will most probably backstab or lie to me if I unintentionally do something nasty.

In a way, guys have it a lot easier. I mean, if Guy A pisses Guy B off, Guy B can just kick the crap out of Guy A. They’ll most probably forget about it the following morning and won’t spread crap about each other to other people.