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Well, this week turned out to be not as hellish as I thought it would be (academic-wise). I owe my gratitude to the wonderful people who fought nobly for our country’s freedom and who gave me an extra day off school.

My surprise long weekend started with something awful during the late afternoon of Friday. It’s all my fault. It was my brilliant idea to come up with a research paper for my Japanese Studies Class called “Japanese Women as Portrayed in Erotica” or some really pretentious title like that. Because I was really excited to start working on it, I began surfing on the ‘net for some information on erotica for the outline. I soon learned that that was a really bad move because I had forgotten how the Internet is populated with the scariest fucktards the world has to offer.

In the 1800s, a Japanese artist called Hokusai made a woodcut illustration called “Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife”. Her dream, apparantly, was to bang an octopus. Naturally, this piqued my curiousity–not because I want to know what it’s like to have octupus tentacles raping me, but because, fuck. In the first place it’s just weird and sick to want to fuck an animal, but why the octopus, of all non-human creatures? So I searched on.

Thanks to the tentacle-rape hentai I’ve seen, I was able to stomach the woodcut picture. But here comes the truly scary part. Some people actually took this whole octupus sex thing way too fucking seriously. There was a B-movie made on the life of Hokusai that includes some “live-action” octopus porn. But wait–it gets worse.

*assumes fetal position and starts frothing at the mouth* For the love of God, DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK. I MEAN IT.

Fuck. You clicked it, didn’t you?

Well, now we are both traumatized beyond belief. I mean…fuck. There are no words for how wrong that is. I’m not sure I want to do this paper anymore.