True Blood is a stupid show. I realized this halfway through the second season, when the show became more about the gratuitous sex and other forms of fan service rather than the tension between vampires and humans. It’s too bad, because the first season had a fairly tight story, likeable characters, and enough suspense to make me want to marathon one episode after another. After the season 2 finale, which had a terribly corny ending that I will not spoil, I rolled my eyes and vowed to never watch this show again.
For those of you who are completely lost, let me explain what this hot vampire commodity is all about. Adapted from the Southern Vampire Mysteries novels by Charlaine Harris, True Blood is premised upon the idea that vampires have “come out” and decided to live with the humans. They claim not to be the bloodthirsty killers who only view humans as walking lunch boxes and to prove this, they’ve resorted to drinking synthetic blood created by the Japanese. Set in the mystical American south, the show is supposedly about the vampires’ struggle to fit into society, but somewhere along the way it degenerated into the NSFW version of Twilight.
The show is centered around a Mary Sue of a female lead, Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin). She’s your typical God-fearing white girl-next-door, except she’s also some sort of telepath. She cannot have intimate relations with people because she hears their thoughts, especially during physical contact. This is why she falls in love with a vampire named Bill (Stephen Moyer); for some reason, she can’t read vampires the way she can with humans and she feels at peace with someone for the first time in her life. There’s also a really hot vampire named Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) who is older and more powerful than Bill. He also as a thing for Sookie, which I don’t understand, because she’s so wholesome and dull it sickens me to look at her. Sookie works in a bar, where her boss Sam is apparently some sort of shape-shifter. Guess what, he has a thing for Sookie too! There are a bunch of other characters, but I won’t talk about them because they faded into the woodwork after the everyone-wants-Sookie angle became True Blood’s dominant theme.
You’re probably wondering, if I hate this show so much, why am I even blogging about it? Well you see, I learned that season 3’s first episode would show Alexander Skarsgard’s nekkid ass. How can I resist? Just look at how gorgeous this man is! So I downloaded the episode, watched it with my boyfriend (who hated me for it afterwards), and found a reason to continue watching True Blood once more.
WARNING: spoilers, sexual content, and NSFW images up ahead!
